The Dark Backward

The Dark Backward is strange film to say the least. Even the name doesn’t really mean anything in the context of the movie. It’s about Marty, a trash man by day and failed stand up comedian by night. In this David Lynch-esque world he lives in, it doesn’t even seem that trash man are a necessity considering how dirty and disgusting everything is everywhere. He picks up trash in one scene with his buddy Gus, played by the always charismatic Bill Paxton, and the trash is just overwhelming. The streets look like landfills.

Marty eventually starts to grow a third arm on his back as people naturally do. Marty’s girl splits and Gus sees this as the opportunity to cash in on this freak limb and incorporate it into Marty’s comedy act. Wayne Newton becomes their talent agent, but Marty is still not funny.

This movie is really carried by the ridiculous and disturbing antics of Bill Paxton, namely necrophilia and SSBBW action. If you’re in the mood for some surreal weirdness, then watch this movie.


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Bebe’s Kids

This week on At Least You Tried we took a trip down memory lane. We decided to check out a hood classic! Today we watched Bebe’s Kids!!! We shared many laughs and had a lot of nostalgia but there were many things wrong with this cartoon. Sit back and relax and enjoy as we talk about this awesome movie.

“We Bebe’s Kids! We don’t die, we multiply!”


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Madea goes to jail

This week on At Least You Tried we begin your favorite time of the year. That’s right, Black History Month!! This year we decided to begin with a character that’s very famous in black movies. You guessed it Madea! Today’s movie is Madea goes to Jail. Even though her name is in the title she probably has the least amount of screen time. So join us as we get into this Tyler Perry classic. Hallelujer! Praise the Lort!


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Who killed Captain Alex?

This week on At Least You Tried Lance brought us a real winner. No you didn’t read that wrong and no it isn’t sarcasm. This week we watched Uganda’s first ever action movie “Who killed Captain Alex?”

This movie comes complete with it’s own rifftrack you can’t turn off…

The movie’s original cut was lost to a power outage ruing the computer it was stored on. The only hard copy they had left was one with a rifftrack done by Uganda’s best VJ (Video Joker). It gives the movie an identity all it’s own. Whether it’s the bullet belt with bullets that are actually sticks or the fact that “Kiss from a rose” plays during action scenes for some reason… This movie is one you aren’t likely to forget and it’s available in complete on Youtube.


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Birdbox

If you don’t watch Birdbox… If you don’t look at it, it can’t hurt you.

This week on At Least You Tried we watched the Netflix hit “Birdbox”, a movie so derivative and mediocre it’s scarier than the film itself. By now you’ve certainly heard of this movie or at the very least seen the memes.

An entity has suddenly appeared and caused the people of the world to start killing themselves. Only Mark Wahlberg…. no I mean Sandra Bullock can save her family from these evil creatures. She must take her son “Boy” and her daughter “Girl” to an ambiguous sanctuary that is safe from these creatures for reasons.

Come join us as we watch a movie rated R for John Malkovich’s potty mouth, Machinegun Kelly’s ass, and quick shots of gore…kinda.

Don’t worry, we have enough blindfolds and birds for everyone.


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Undefeatable

This week on At Least You Tried Tyler came bearing a gift, a meme worthy movie called Undefeatable. This movie is a non stop barrage of fight scenes, ninja weapons, awful boyfriends, and screaming your ex’s name for two thirds of the movie. This movie is by far the best thing we’ve watched in ages and it’s available in full on Youtube.


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Crocodile Dundee in LA

This week we watched the chilling conclusion to the Crocodile Dundrilogy…Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles. Actually, this film had no business being squeezed out of Paul Hogan’s colostomy bag 13 years after the second movie. The world went the entire length of the 1990’s without Mick Dundee. Who the hell was beating down whose door to get this made?

The first film was an instant classic. Australian redneck Mick Dundee goes to the Big Apple and finds himself in a fish out of water situation every where he turns, but he’s able to charm his way through it with his simple ignorance, a rugged appearance, and a large badass knife. The sequel was surprisingly really good, too. And then you get to part three in L.A. You lost all the timeless 80’s charm and you feel like they were trying to shit out an early 2000’s kids’ movie from Paul Hogan’s constipated and leathered anus. Constipated is probably the correct adjective here because this movie felt so fucking forced into existence. Seriously, the first movie was PG-13 and that’s an 80’s PG-13. Most movies rated PG in the 80’s would be rated R if made these days. The second movie from 1988 was PG, but see the previous sentence. The third movie was PG, but most of the time it felt like it could have been rated G and on the Disney Channel.

For crying out loud, Mick is in his fucking early 60’s in this movie and now they felt it was time to introduce him having a child. This little shit really served as no plot advancement in this movie. If the kid had been edited out of the movie altogether, I seriously doubt any viewer would have felt anything was missing. He only served the purpose of adding kid appeal to the franchise.

The story unfolds with the Dundee family living in the Down Under, but a death at Sue’s dad’s newspaper leaves a vacant job opening that just begs for her to fly to L.A. and fill the dead guy’s shoes until permanently replaced. What a fucking dumb excuse to get the Dundee clan in L.A. The whole small town foreign hillbilly trouncing around the big untamed city story was funny the first time, but it had worn out its comedic welcome by 2001. Nothing new here except for a surprisingly entertaining scene in a Wendy’s drive-thru. As the movie drudged on, we discover that Sue has taken over the role of investigating a shady film studio that’s selling stolen artwork. Yawn. Mick infiltrates the studio incognito and shuts that shit down. The End.

In all honesty, this movie did muster a few laughs, but in the end it was a slap in the balls to the legacy of Dundee.


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The MEG

This week on At least you tried we took a bite into some deep sea action with the 2018 shark thriller The Meg and well if you love shark movies….. you might want to pick something else. But if you love Ruby Rose or Jason Statham then this is for you. Mostly because they’re in it. Get ready for a plot so bland and acting so dry that even a 75 foot long shark wouldn’t want to eat it. So enjoy as we beat the crap out of this movie Jason Statham style!


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