The year. 1989. The world was seeing the close of the greatest and most influential decade of all time. What better way to send off an era than with a little Swayze craziness we like to call the Road House?

This week’s pick belongs to Lance, but with a strong suggestive influence from Matt. Neither Lance nor Jonathan had seen this gem before, but Matt grew up watching this in full VHS glory. This cinematic gold is the pinnacle in fun, but enjoyable movie trash.

Road House brings it all to the table: Monster trucks, enough boob scenes to make your kid cover his eyes the whole damn movie, Swayze throat ripping Mortal Kombat fatality moves, drunken bar brawls, and poetic one liners like “Pain Don’t Hurt”.

Go ahead and make this movie your next “Saturday night thing”. Just be careful not watch it with a man that “used to fuck guys like you in prison” or Brad Wesley will make you his “bleeder”.

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So we’ve come to this an experiment that started with a fun premise and ended with 3/4 of our group traumatized. Now I (Jonathan) had a little theory that Alex automatically would just say that he hated every movie that I suggested while loving all Matt’s suggestions. To test this theory I told him that Matt had suggested the movie Tusk for this weeks movie when in reality it was my pick. However things didn’t go as planned, instead of loving it Alex still hated this movie and we were all left with scenes that aren’t leaving our memory banks anytime soon.

Tusk follows Wallace (Justin Long), a podcaster that will do anything for views and often gets his content at someone else’s expense. He takes a trip to Canada to interview the latest viral internet star. When his interview subject for the week dies Wallace scrambles to find a new person to interview so he doesn’t Canada without anything to show for it. At a local bar Wallace finds an add that just might be what he’s looking for.

An old sailor is looking for someone to rent a room in his mansion and listen to his life’s amazing stories… or at least that’s what he says. In truth this old sailor wants to turn Wallace into a walrus (Yes you read that correctly). What follows is one of the most disturbing movies we’ve reviewed for this podcast. On top of that it’s billed as a horror comedy and it does NOT blend these genres well.

So if you’re so inclined join us this week as we watch Kevin Smith‘s horror movie Tusk. Together we’ll answer the age old question “Is man indeed a walrus at heart?”

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The Keep

What do you get when you mix Nazis, a vague evil entity, and Gandalf himself? Why you get our movie this week, a little horror(?) movie call “The Keep

The Nazi army makes it’s way across Romania and comes across a crypt that houses an evil golem-esque creature that doesn’t take too kindly to being disturbed. If you enjoy watching Nazis get their comeuppance then this is the movie for you.

An odd little factoid about this movie, when looking up the runtime this hour and a half film came up with a runtime of 3 and a half hours! Apparently there is a version out there that is more than double the length of the movie we watched… Maybe that version made sense because this one definitely didn’t

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