The Emoji Movie

So it’s that time of the year again. 2017 is winding down and like a hurricane of shit and disappointment this year has left many awful movies in it’s wake. We plan on spending December to highlight the worst offenders of the year but can think of no movie that better shows how low the bar can be lowered than The Emoji Movie.

Many movies out there today sneak in product placement or clever substitutions to make a little extra money. Often times this is a subtle thing and can go unnoticed by the average movie goer. The Emoji Movie lacks any subtlety. It’s going to put as much product placement and blatant advertisements as it can fit into it’s movie and it’s going to beat you over the head with it. Facebook, twitter, Instagram, Youtube, Candy Crush… if it’s popular and on your phone you can bet that it finds it’s way into this movie.

Our movies follows a loose plot about an emoji named Gene that doesn’t fit into emoji society because he has multiple emotions. The other emojis don’t take kindly to this kind of free thinking and send anti virus robots after Gene hoping to exterminate him because he’s clearly a malfunction. The rest of the movie is more less small vignettes of Gene and his emoji friends experiencing each of the above mentioned apps as the robots chase him down.

Never have I ever felt so strongly that a movie was trying to sell me something. It was completely groan inducing and straight up broke Alex at one point. He’s held firm to his belief that Killer Klowns from Outer Space is the worst thing we’ve ever watched. This movie has changed that opinion.

December is going to be a rough month of movies. We are going to watch some real trash and we may not come out of this unscathed but if you’re brave and can stand watching morally reprehensible films we encourage you to join us. Misery loves company.

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