Blank Check

So this movie proved to be a divisive pick to say the least. To some of us Blank Check is a classic from our childhoods but to Alex this is “The fifth worst movie we’ve seen so far”. He even went as far as to list them.

To be fair though this movie isn’t perfect. The plot is super simplistic and the cost of items he bought are not realistic in the slightest but that’s really part of the charm. Everyone has at one point or another daydreamed about what it would be like to be rich, for most of us Blank Check is as close as we’re ever going to get to being filthy rich.

Jake brought up a good point during our viewing of this movie, “How is Preston carrying around all this money?” We see our hero load up a backpack with cash at the start of the movie. A million dollars in hundreds (According to Jake math and the internet) is still over a hundred pounds, which is probably more than Preston can schlep around all movie. But if you pay attention he has bundled 5s handed to him as well (Seriously who bundles 5s? What is this Monopoly?) If that was the case this backpack would weigh close to a literal ton. Maybe this movie wasn’t meant for analytical adults.

So suspend adult skepticism and embrace this childhood classic with you rose tinted glasses intact. ┬áThis is a film that is fun if you just don’t take it , or yourself, too seriously.

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The island of Dr. Moreau (1996)

Every once in awhile a film comes around that becomes notorious for how bad it is. Having a nightmare production and an egotistical cast did not help this film’s reputation. The final result is hodgepodge film that makes little sense but is at least pretty to look at.

The story of Richard Stanley’s “The island of Dr. Moreau” is one of legend. Marlon Brando would make ridiculous demands just to simply see what he could get away with. He also didn’t learn his lines and had to use an earpiece in scenes and have them fed to him (At one point causing some trouble when it accidentally picked up a police scanner). Richard Stanley wasn’t much better. He had a huge vision for the film but as troubles arose he became stressed and reclusive. It’s said that he would hide on set and walk into the jungle, slowing production immensely. He was fired four days into production and replaced with John Frankenheimer.

For such a huge production there were many changes that would happen day to day. Actors would undergo hours of make up only to be told that they wouldn’t be needed for any scenes. Actors switched roles, Small roles were made larger at Mr. Brando’s request… The entire process was a cluster fuck to say the least.

The original inspiration for watching this movie is the documentary “Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley’s Island of Dr Moreau

Do yourself a favor and give this documentary a watch as it is MUCH more recommended than the film’s focus.

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Jonah Hex

Underwhelming is the word that best describes this weeks movie: Jonah Hex. A film that has huge star power behind it and yet doesn’t properly utilize any of them.

The movie is shorter than most that we review and for once I actually kind of regret that. The shorter run time comes at the cost of a cohesive plot. The movie jumps around constantly between present time and the past. While that can sometimes work in films and be an artistic touch (Think Pulp Fiction) in this movie it makes the backstory seem sloppy and incomplete.

Why does Jonah have these powers and why is it public knowledge he has them? How the hell is Turnbull alive after burning to death in a hotel fire? How does Jonah go from being a complete badass in the beginning of the film, one shotting every enemy he faces, to being the whipping boy of the Turnbull and Burke for the rest of the movie? None of these is explained in any real detail.

That doesn’t mean we can’t some fun at the film’s behalf though. So join us this week as we try to answer the question why so many big name actor like John Malkovich, Michael Fassbender, and Will Arnett agreed to do this lackluster comic book adaptation. (Spoiler alert: It was for the paycheck)

Oh and Megan Fox plays a prostitute… Shocking

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